Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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