i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
