someone get that fucking seahorse.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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