Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
