remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
