Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
