His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
