Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
