There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
