Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize