i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
