Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize