plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
