and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
