he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
