I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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