and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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