I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
