Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
