I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
