I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
