Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
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We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
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So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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