you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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