Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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