I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
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about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
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He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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