Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
