Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
