I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
