You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
