no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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