From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
