i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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