i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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