all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
