letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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