Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
