And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
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Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
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Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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