Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
