I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
