Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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