remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
