drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You are the jesus of drinking
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
