I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
