I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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