Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
