were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
