Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
