If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
