Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
