I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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