Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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