I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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