Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
