Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
