is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize