Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize