ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize